Monday, February 17, 2014

on this day

I don't expect that this day is especially significant to most.  
it doesn't mark anything particularly extraordinary 
but this was the moment everything changed.  
Two years ago, today,  in a hospital room with ugly yellow walls and cold tile floors
We'd already had weeks of ups, downs, scares, tests, and waiting.   
and today, as that doctor entered the room, we knew we were done waiting to find out.  
now we knew what we were up against.
This is when the real fight began.
Though his fight was short, it was fierce.  
and his story was so much more than the cancer.
He lived out his faith in every moment of his battle.  
He fought so hard to stay, but he was not scared.
We are forever changed for having shared in that. 
and today we remember
cancer is viscous and our loss tremendous 
but God is good.

Psalm 121 (ESV)
I lift up my eyes to the hills
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
  who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
  he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
  will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
  the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
  nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil;
  he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep 
  your going out and your coming in
    from this time forth and forevermore.

Friday, February 14, 2014

to just be home

“The only time that I ever really suffered in body or mind, the only time that I ever fancied myself unwell, or had any ideas of danger, was the winter that I passed by myself at Deal, when the Admiral (Captain Croft then) was in the North Seas. I lived in perpetual fright at that time, and had all manner of imaginary complaints from not knowing what to do with myself, or when I should hear from him next; but as long as we could be together, nothing ever ailed me, and I never met with the smallest inconvenience." – Mrs. Croft in Jane Austen’s “Persuasion” 

Before catching the bus this morning Micah was feeling a little under the weather, just a slight stuffiness and tired feeling. He wanted to go to school so badly because today was the Valentine’s Day party. I sent him on his way with instructions to call me if he started feeling any worse. Since I didn’t hear anything from him, I assumed all was well.
He is the last one to get home in the afternoons, and so when he arrived at 4 PM the other three of us were already involved in separate tasks all over the house. Micah walked in the door and I shouted up, “HI!” to which he replied, “I’m sick” in a defeated voice. I exclaimed, “Oh, No!” and ran up to the door to start fussing over him, instantly feeling his hot forehead. Sarah followed close behind and began to help Micah off with all his snow gear and express concern. Hearing the commotion Noah came running and seeing Micah he said, “Are you ok? Did you throw up?” Micah then melted into a puddle of tears, and after I got him into pajamas and onto the couch he was able to try and tell me why he was crying. 
“It was just so good to be home,” was all he could explain.
On this Valentine’s Day, I know exactly how you feel sweet boy. We’ve been wrestling with some issues of the heart in our home lately and have not been looking forward to this holiday. But, at the end of the day – when all is said and done – God has given us each other, these 4 people and a furry little friend – to uplift, care for, and watch out for each other. Home.
It was nice that a couple of our sweet friends from far away remembered us with flowers. Sarah and I went out to lunch together. We are all home for the evening and my sweet kids are sitting with me through a Jane Austen movie (for the thousandth time!!) 
Things will be ok.  
Broken hearts will mend, with time.  
Bodies will heal.  
We will lean on each other 
We will remember our faith.
We know not what the future holds, but we know the One who holds the future.