Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Life in Technicolor

      If my life were a movie, this would be that point towards the end (after the big dramatic climax) where you have a bunch of different scenes melded together with little or no dialogue. Some fabulous Mumford and Sons or Death Cab for Cutie song plays over this barrage of images of the kids and me learning to live again, moving on, going forward.... to show the audience that "they're gonna be ok".
Sometimes I kind of feel like that's what every one's expecting. Maybe because they've seen this movie one too many times. Or they're tired of not knowing what to do with me, make of my situation, what to say - so enough already.... Let's cut to that epilogue scene.
I do wish we could move on that easily - like in a movie, but then again I feel like that's almost disrespectful. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing.
     The above was taken from a conversation I was having with a friend on facebook. My friend said to stop thinking life like it was a movie, which has to come to some sort of conclusion. Maybe, my friend said, you could think of it as a TV series that doesn't get canceled - a bunch of little conclusions that eventually get you to where you wanted to go, but nobody expects that's where it will wind up. In this particular season a lot has happened and fans are pissed!
     I thought that was a neat way to answer me - and it was personal to our family (who happens to love TV).
     Later, during this same conversation I was saying how Sarah and I were cleaning and we put on some Linken Park. Soon enough we found ourselves kinda screaming the lyrics... then later that day we had to drive to base. When we drive, she always chooses the music and she put on a couple of MCR songs (My Chemical Romance, a guilty pleasure of both of ours) and the volume kept getting a little louder, as did our "singing". When we got to our destination I remarked how we hadn't done that in a really long time. Things have been a little more solemn. More Mumford and Sons'ish - but, whatever "that" just was, it kinda felt good. She said that she was kinda sad that it seemed ok to do that kind of stuff again, but at the same time it felt really good, she missed that side of me. I said that it sucked that we were moving on, but that I really missed those times screaming bad lyrics with her, too.
After I relayed that story my friend said, "I feel like tonight's was a really good episode"
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     I recently found out a couple different friends of mine are expecting babies, you know - one of those couples that you've been waiting to get together all season and have a baby. After that conversation (above) with my friend, I was thinking about how that will be one of those great tear-jerking episodes where I get to hold a baby and feel like life is going on, sure there will still be drama, side-plots, antagonists, and set-backs, but the previews of that episode make it look like all might just be ok for a minute.
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