Thursday, February 15, 2007

Once upon a time there was a worry wart.

Random musings from a worried mom
I worry a lot. I worry about everything. I try and stay calm. I try not to freak out.... but..............
Sometimes I will get up in the morning and worry about worrying too little. I dwell. I dwell a lot, too. How am I still sane? This can not be normal. Some days I am exhausted from the fretting. I wish it burned more calories. I would be skinny instead of an unhealthy weight (by the way, it worries me to be this weight, but all I seem to do is worry about it and take no action on it).
I have had days when there were actually things to be anxious about - Rob being on a convoy in Iraq for instance, or mice invading my home at an alarming rate would be another example. But in the absence of any real drama I will create things that (I think) need to be stressed about. Are my kids getting enough sun (you know they say sun deprivation is an MS trigger). Where / How can we scrimp any more out of our budget to be able to afford a piano for Noah? Is Sarah getting enough from her curriculum and WHAT oh WHAT am I to do with all this algebra?
People see this blog and leave such nice comments (which are very inspiring and well received) about what a good mom I am. I love these comments, keep your accolades a comin'!! But, it worries me to think that you may have a false impression of what lurks beneath the surface of my active and busy facade..... I worry a lot.
I pray a lot too, which I think is the only remedy for worry. Some days I pray more than I worry and those are probably my better days.
There is a lot happening in the next few months in our lives. We will see if everything we hope to accomplish really comes to pass. We've also been very sick. There are some nasty infectious viruses floating around our neck of the woods and we have been down and out more than once in the last 2 weeks. I am not giving this blog the attention I had intended to. (that worries me). So you may not see an update for a few days or a week - but I am here. Kids are here. Rob is here.
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